If I Had A Second Chance...

I know that my title sounds like something deep and philosophical will come from today's post. And maybe it will. I actually got the idea from a blog idea generator. I am not out of ideas for my blog, but I did need help thinking of a post today because I left my camera in Jeremy's truck and cannot upload my new photos until late tonight. My post today was going to be something completely different, but it can wait until tomorrow when I have my photos to go along with it.

I saw the phrase, "If I had a second chance," and it got me to thinking. This is not one of those sad stories where someone loses their life and I wished that I had said, "sorry," or "I love you." Instead, I thought of every decision in my life that has been worth something and how it has affected me today. I want to go back to high school and introduce you to the person I was back then...

As a senior in high school, I had a lot of things going for me. I was not part of the "popular" crowd, but I did have lots of close friends. I had a close knit group of girlfriends that I hung out with on weekends and after school. I did not go to parties. EVER. I was one of those goody-goodies that liked to read books at home. My mom would come into the living room and ask, "Brooke, why don't you go spend the night at a friend's house?" My friend Brandi can vouch for me. She lived with my family at the time and was constantly telling me that I needed to get out of the house. :) I just didn't want to. I was a homebody. Still am.

There was only one thing that I was interested in except reading: dance team. I had been a member of the Corsicana Calico Dance Team since my Freshman year. I was never really that good, but I somehow became Captain my Senior year. It was a blast! There were about 75 girls on the team and I felt very close to almost all of them. The director of our team had fallen very ill at the beginning of the school year and took a small leave of absence. We had a substitute fill in for her, but the teaching, formations, and polishing (correcting a routine) fell to me and the 5 other officers on the dance line. It was a semi-stressful time, but I felt like I was made for it!

Fast-forward to graduation. I graduated high school with hopes of becoming a Kilgore Rangerette. The Rangerettes are a world famous, high kick, dance team. I don't know if I had a good chance of making the team or not, but I planned on trying out at the end of July. That summer, my sister and I attended a dance camp on the Kilgore College campus. We got to attend some of the practices and watch performances. I learned more in a week than I did in my whole high school career. I also felt the pain each night and each morning as my muscles protested.

Fast-forward again to July. The day of try-outs came. My mom went to stay with me in Longview (a few minutes away from where I would be the whole week) I hadn't eaten anything in almost two days. I was so nervous. The day came to drop me off at the dorms for my stay. I couldn't go. I cried and cried like a little baby. I wanted it sooooo bad. But I couldn't do it.

I came back home and attended college in my home town. Navarro College. I became a student ambassador and worked in the student relations office. I made all new friends and joined all kinds of groups that "look good" on a resume. :)

The spring semester of my Freshman year, I met a man at church. He was the Youth Minister and was quite a bit older than me. We became very good friends, though. He would take days off of work to go shopping with me. When I got off work, I found myself driving over to his house just to enjoy his company. In a few short months we had fallen in love and he asked me to marry him. I cried my eyes out and said, "YES!"

Six years later we have a sweet baby girl, a home in Alabama, and wonderful memories of a time that never would have come to fruition if MY plans had worked out. I thank God everyday for his divine providence in my life.

If I had a second chance to change anything, I wouldn't. I never wonder about the Rangerette's. I don't care if I could have made the team. It doesn't matter. Everyday that I wake up to the sounds of Ava cooing in her crib, I smile, throw off the covers, and go pick up my precious angel. She greets me with a smile so big that she has to wrinkle her nose up to her forehead so that it will fit. I love my life and the things and people that God has blessed me with. Thank God that I only have one chance.