In This Year

I almost made a liar of myself and skipped blogging tonight. Greta woke up from her nap screaming and pulling her ears. Jeremy fed her while I got ready to take her to MedCenter. I had some Benzocaine ear drops left over from when Ava had an ear infection so I was able to help Greta with the pain a little bit. I drove to MedCenter and realized that they were closed. Then I drove a few miles down to Urgent Care. They were closed too :( Poor baby! A friend of mine, who is a nurse, was able to give me a few tips about how to relieve the pain until I can get her in with the pediatrician. So, before bedtime, I gave Greta some Infant Tylenol and some Infant Motrin along with Hyland's Homeopathic Cold Tablets and more ear drops. I am hoping that she will be able to sleep through the night.

Anyway, that's why I almost did not post in the blog tonight.

Greta and Ava are now snoozing peacefully in their bedroom, so I wanted to write my last post of 2012.

I don't want to come across as arrogant, but my life is very simple and good. It isn't because I am anyone special. It isn't anything that I have done. It isn't because I am smart and have made good decisions. I give all the glory to God. For whatever reason, He has blessed me beyond measure. I continue to ask myself why He continues to shower His blessings on me. I don't understand it. I don't believe that I ever will. Every trial that I go through, He shows me a way out. Not only that, but when that trial is over, I am ALWAYS able to look back and realize what He was trying to teach me. In 28 years, there has never been an exception. 2012 has been no different.

In this year, I saw the birth of my second baby girl: a blonde haired, blue-eyed, Jeremy Pate look alike, with my personality. Greta has the sweetest grin that extends all the way up to her eyes. I think of Jeremy every time she smiles because his smile was one of the biggest reasons why I fell in love with him. I truly believe that the Lord gave her to me so that I would always remember why I am in love with Jeremy. Her smile reminds me of that love every day. 

I am so in love with Greta too! She is such a precious child. She is so happy ALL the time (until she isn't) :) She has the most infectious laughter. When she gets really giddy, she squeals. In fact, I have started calling her Joyful. One of the first things I say to her every morning is, "Good morning Joyful!" She has been such a blessing to our family. Having two children has been a change, but her sweet disposition has made the transition so much easier.

In this year, I saw my Ava turn into a toddler. Although I still refer to her as a baby, she isn't. She is starting to look and act more like a child. I am able to have conversations with her. It is so CRAZY to watch my first child develop and reach each new milestone with eagerness and excitement. She isn't afraid of anything! She is so beautiful and sweet. She loves people and remembers their names. She will hug almost anyone. She does not show favoritism when playing with friends. She wants to play with EVERYBODY! I am so proud of her and the person that she is becoming. Do I believe that Ava is perfect? No, she is a human being. She has imperfect parents who influence her and teach her. But, I can tell that she is growing into a very loving and caring little girl who will one day be a loving and caring mother and wife (if the Lord wills) I am so in love with her too!

How can a person be so in love with so many people and still have room in their heart? I don't understand it, but God makes it possible.

In this year, Jeremy and I have grown even closer as a couple. Having children puts strains on a marriage. That is not me being negative, that is just how it works. I have been blessed, though, with a God-fearing man as a husband. Yes, there have been times this year when I have felt all used up from taking care of children. And yes, there have been times when Jeremy has been so overwhelmed with his job that I have felt like he has had very little to offer me. But Jeremy is a good man who is always able to help redirect our marriage. I am so proud to have him as the leader of our household. He is such a great example of what a Christian husband should be. He is thoughtful (he will just bring home flowers for no other reason than he loves me) he is kind (he does nice things for people and expects nothing in return) he is considerate (he always makes sure that I am okay with the girls before he leaves our house) and he is generous (he would give his entire paycheck to me if he could) There are so many more things that I could say about him, but I will stop for fear of being perceived as a braggart. :) 

Anyway, Jeremy and I have become so much closer in this year because we have learned how to take care of our family together. Jeremy is able to take care of our children the same way that I would. He knows the "rules" for when to wake up Greta from a nap to eat and when to let her continue sleeping. He knows how to calm our children down when they are fussy and irritable. He just knows. He isn't afraid to communicate with me about something that he doesn't know. I feel secure knowing that he is capable of caring for our children.

In this year, my sister got married and found out two months later that she was expecting her first child. Kate Meischelle Lassiter was born on November 27th 2012. She is beautiful (just like her mother) I didn't understand how my sister having a child would affect me, but it has! I feel like Kate is my child! When I held her for the first time, I almost cried. I LOVE her! I felt an instant connection and bond with her. It makes me sad that there is so much distance between us and her. Maybe that will change one day.

In this year, we laid Granny to rest. Granny was Jeremy's grandmother, but she became mine even before Jeremy and I got married. I remember meeting her for the first time in the Wal-Mart gardening center. Jeremy and I had driven to Tennessee so that I could meet his family. We surprised Granny at work. She walked up and gave me a hug right off the bat. Then she turned me around so that she could look at my hips (she wanted to make sure I had child-bearing hips) :) She must have approved because later that afternoon she bought me a very heavy (and very expensive) wooden elephant at Hobby Lobby. My decor may change but that elephant will always have a place in my home.

In this year, I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism. As my endocrinologist states it, "if you are going to have a chronic disease, thyroid disease is the one to have." I can't say that I disagree. I will be on Synthroid for the rest of my life, but taking a tiny pill every morning is a piece of cake compared to so many other diseases an disorders.

In this year, I set a lofty goal of losing 70 pounds. I am over halfway there thanks to Bariatric Health & Wellness. My friend, Alisha, gave me a really cute black and white houndstooth skirt in a size 6. It is hanging in my closet to remind me of my goal. I call it my "goal skirt." :)

And in this year, I worked on my resolution. I said at the beginning of the year that I wanted to better understand how God loves me. I said that I wanted to understand his love for me through my children. I don't have it all worked out, but I can honestly say that I have a clue. A tiny glimmer of what it must be like to unconditionally love people who do not always follow your directions. My children teach me about that every day. :) Instead of coming up with a resolution for 2013, I am going to continue to focus on understanding God's love for me. That may not make sense to anyone, but I just really need to understand it. So, maybe in this NEXT year I will finally put to rest the belief that I will never measure up. Maybe I will learn that it isn't about measuring up. Maybe my head will explain it to my heart :)